I don’t want to be the one to complain about you and to make public my thoughts, but since there’s no one to tell, I’m going to.
You’re sad. Really. At this point it’s pathetic. You’ve gotten yourself into so much shit, and you expect so much from everyone, and when they can’t give it to you, you flip out. And that’s a normal thing to do, but you take it to a whole other level.
It’s hard for me to believe everything you say, because the way you react to it is not normal, not healthy. If you can’t try to help yourself, why should I or anyone else break our backs trying to help?
All you care about is attention. From a distance people can see it, and that tells you something right there. If you were really in this much trouble, if all of it were really true, if you were the least bit normal, you would accept help. But you don’t. And I don’t understand it.
I don’t like it when the girls on the Lax team call Momma “Mom.” Even if it’s just a slip-up.
It worries me because I know how badly she wants her own kids and family, and we’ve established that she’s Momma because our lax family is special to us, but saying “Mom” takes it to a whole different level. I can’t explain why it is, but it is.
And of course she’s a strong and smart enough woman to not care about it, but I wonder and I worry if at some point this same thought has crossed her mind and hurt her.
The chances of me joining lacrosse this year were slim to none, and the only reason I joined at all was for Momma and Malina.
No one else makes me feel like it’s worth it.
So, I’m going to do this Metaphysical Cleanse in the hopes of bettering myself, and I really feel like it could be a great community thing.
If you guys want to follow my journey or by all means join me, please do and feel free to submit the pledges you’ll make to yourself and the stories you have!
i really don’t like being forced into going to prom. i don’t think anyone actually understands the kind of situation they’d be putting me in, both socially and personally. and no one’s bothered to try and understand anyway.
it’s okay for them, because they’re all gorgeous, and look great in fancy clothes, but i don’t. and they don’t get that it’s a leap of confidence for me to wear anything nice, even on a regular day. i’ll just spend the entire night wanting to die, wanting to get out.
i know myself enough to know that unless i’m around my closest friends, it’s not going to be a good night. and everyone who’s forcing me forgets me too often to be that.
this birthday, like all of my birthdays, has made me feel like shit and hate myself and everyone around me
the only difference is, this year i actually cried over it.
so apparently now melanie has a life and i’m not invited to it
the entire lacrosse team. every single person was invited to practice, and not me. jesus fucking christ, why not?
what’s so terrible about me, so forgettable, that i slip through these cracks and just get forgotten?
i’m certain no one even noticed i was gone